When i died

When he pushed me on the bed
what was going thru his head

i cant forget that day no matter how hard i try
i lay in my bed thinking about it then i start to cry

had she stayed around instead of disappeared
he wouldn't have gotten to me and i wouldn't cry these tears

Ive hidden it from my parents for fear of what they'll do
and it is this for certain that made me turn to you

you told me i could trust you and that you'll always be there
so thats when i started to trust you that s when i started to care

the things you say never leave my head
i think about them every night when I'm lying in my bed

i told you i didn't trust him and i didn't feel right
you told me i could trust him and it would be alright

even tho you told me this i still lay awake at night
crying myself to sleep no matter how hard i fight

but i don't blame him i put it all on me
i will blame myself because i didn't see

he tried to rape me but he failed
but it doesn't matter if i never yelled

some people say its my fault and I'm sure its true
i don't know what to think or feel i don't know what to do

are all these people right
is it my fault cause i didn't fight

i wish you were here to hold me tight
to tell me every thing is alright

he told me he loved me but he was only lying
and now inside I'm forever crying

right now i don't know who to trust
now I'm just a speck of dust

i wish someone could tell me that I'm wrong
and it has been a dream all along