Never More Than Okay.

So I sit here in the shower
With the razor in my hand
About to put it to my wrist
End my life with a bloody band

I sit in my bedroom
Reading over dark poems
Thinking all these thoughts
That must remain unknown

Looking at the screen
Moving around the mouse
Telling myself I'm happy
That's what they all want

No one's home, I'm all alone
I walk to the cabinet
Pull out the gun
Place it to my head

Looking around, paranoid
I hope no one sees this
It's not meant for them
All of my thoughts in the deep dark

Being asked "How are you?"
"Okay-ish" I respond
Never letting them know
I'm truly depressed

A bottle of pills
Just sitting there
Now all in my hand
About to be consumed

No one wants to notice
I'm never more than okay
How I want to die
More and more everyday