My Immortal Bond

by EpithetPoet   Feb 9, 2005


There's a fatal line
Most do not see
The only ones who do
Are those like me

Follow it day by day
Never going beyond
Today's the day of change
My immortal bond

Crossing that line
Brings the unknown
Just know one thing
You wont be alone

Drift off the path
Slip into that line
Feeling the fact
They'll be just fine

Happiness is uncertain
But lack of pain real
Makes it worth
The blood blade feel

The end of my line
Drift to the edge
Take a deep breath
Fall over the ledge

Had to come to an end
Had to go beyond
Sooner or later
Met my immortal bond

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by Krete

    I like it.

    Nice, complimentary rhyme scheme. Interesting use of mesmoral type imagery.

    Great, righteous begging. I enjoyed the overall 'outspoken/speaking' tone.

    Loved the idea of a 'fine' line. Such a fatal distant thing, select only to the orators knowledge.

    The development of a finite mortality to that of an immortal 'bond' is very appealing. I suggest you continue with it. I can't give a solid idea for grabs...but maybe you could consider some type of epoch [changing event] or wheel of something. ie - time, life in specific, someone/thing well loved, a hidden passion [ sport, music].

    Have fun. I'm looking forward to seeing more.

    5/5

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