The day seems to be going slowly. I awoke disappointed but sure I had to get up. It carries on like this every morning. It almost becomes a chore to open my eyes. That’s why I need him. To make all this suffering just disappear for even just a while. Just to make sense of this meaningless life I’m travelling. That’s all life is…… one meaningless substitute for hell. If it wasn’t then why are there so many unhappy people? Including myself? Life isn’t what you make it……life is just an ill adventure just waiting to die before you’re even born. From the very first breath of air we intake, we begin to die, to decompose into nothing.
To live is to live in pain, to suffer within ourselves, expected not to speak out for help. Even when we do cry for help we are put through a flaming ball of rejection. Thus proving we are nothing. Thus making us feel like nothing.
The morality of it all is that there is no purpose for human life, human life is here to destroy the earth, we are the alien species…… destined to live a life of sovereignty, morality. Alone, fighting for the survival of a race that without our minds, wouldn’t exist. Life is just an idea…… an idea of well-being and happiness that is theoretically just a state of mind.
The shadows that have followed for so long are only lately beginning to shine though, watching the darkness of ones self turn solely and coldly into a bottled up bottle of wine. Drunken with absolute hate, drowning within ones self.
This is my life, these are my days, but for how much longer I am unsure. The one thing that is keeping me going is slowly dissipating into a world of nothingness, dissipating into a world where only I belong. A world of solitude, regret and broken promises relishing on my dwelling sorrows within.
Who needs to live when we can dream? Dreams are all this weak race relies on. Without dreams we are worse than nothing, we are non-existent.
