Why Now?

Why now
why today
what went wrong
I didn't even know what to say.

My hands shook
my heart pounded
my whole body was shivering
when your voice sounded.

You asked me to guess
at who I thought it was
in my heart I knew exactly
but I couldn't talk, just because.

I sit here thinking
if that was my sign
what other reason would you call
besides me being on your mind.

You asked me how I was doing
I told you I was ok
I asked you what you been up to
you said whatever came your way.

In my mind, I was wondering
why the hell you decided to call now
I just had gotten you off my mind
now I don't even remember how.

I can't even remember how the conversation went
only that I was so scared
what other reason would have you called
if you hadn't really cared?

You asked me if I had a car
I told you, no not yet
oh I see, was your words
laughing inside I bet.

Its hard to explain
all the things I felt inside
it was like a explosion
of images flashing through my mind.

As I sit here thinking
of all the things that could go wrong
I wonder if the feelings I had for you
are once again becoming strong.

So far you called me
at least seven times
we talked about mostly everything
anything that popped into our minds.

We talked about the past
and the way it used to be
you told me how much you were sorry
and that you never meant to hurt me.

How am I supposed to believe you
when you used to lie to me all the time
should I believe what you're saying
or forget the pain thats on my mind.

I feel it in my heart
pieces of me that still hasn't healed
pain that had been building up
scars forcing the cuts to seal.

I just don't know
what there is I can do
because I tell you there's "NO" future
of me being with you.

I only want to be friends
because that is all thats there
I don't want the sparks to fly
because if its love, I really don't care.

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Thanks, Jen!