Mommy, Im sorry

Dear Mommy,
I’m sorry to say this
Dear Mommy
I wish I could seal this with a kiss
But things have become too hard
Look at all the invisible blood I’ve bled
I know you don’t play the sympathy card
But can you hear a word I’ve said?
Mommy, are you listening anymore?
Do you not care of the pain I feel?
People are more afraid of me than before
It feels so unreal
But reality is, and will always be
Why won’t you hold me tight?
Are you afraid of me?
Somehow this isn’t right
Mommy, why don’t you look me in the eye?
Are you afraid of what you’ll see?
If so, why?
I’ve always just been me.
You see, Mommy
Three years ago isn’t so long
I didn’t mean to kill him
But what he was doing was wrong
Accidents happen
But mine was purposefully
He hit me for the last time
Don’t look at me so sorrowfully
Don’t deny it either
We both know he was abusive
I hoped you would see the marks
To this day, I wonder why you were so permissive
How could you pretend
That you were clueless
About what that man was doing to me?
Arguing was useless
I did it for the both of us
I hoped you knew that
When I intended to kill him
With the aluminum bat
I know that this is hard for you
To hear this from my lips
But I know it’s harder
Every night to hear his blood as it drips
It plays in my head again and again
The thud his body made
As it slowly fell to the ground
My revenge slaked and paid
Mommy, Daddy was evil
He needed to go
I’m sorry what I did
But I just thought you should know
You’re little girl is not a murderer
She didn’t mean to kill
Only a part of her controlled
The scared will
You really raised me well
Well, as well as expected
My life has never been exactly swell
But just now are my deeds detected
These bars are dull
And my life is blue
And I can only hope
That this will get to you