Empty emotions (depressed or not?)

Empty emotions,
This pain I seem to hide,
Feeling nothing,
As I lay here and cry,

Crying in my room,
Curled up on the floor,
Feeling this pain,
That I can’t take much of anymore,

I don’t know how to answer,
Why I am so down,
Some reasons I don’t know why I am,
I just seem to frown,

People say I don’t have a problem,
Like im telling them a lie,
Then If I’m so happy,
Why do I feel like I want to die?

How do they know what its like?
To be adopted out of the blue,
Knowing your own father,
Didn’t want to be apart of you,

Not knowing who he is,
Why he left and why,
This is just one of the reasons,
Why I do actually cry,

I’m happy with my family now,
But not just sad because of this,
Its really hard to live on,
Feeling that i dont excist,

Yet I just hate having,
All this pain,
I started to get it though,
Around my mums age,

But my reasons are different,
Like when I get teased,
Getting called names,
It hurts more than it seems,

Well I don’t stick up for myself,
Because getting teased most of your life,
Makes you useless,
Just like your nothing with only strife.