Not Today

I know I let you down no matter how hard I try
I'm sorry for who I've become
I'm a disgrace to you all
So used to giving into it
Not fighting for my happiness
but now I must
Don't want to end up the same
The same as I was before
shredded wrists
hidden well
fake smile
Not that you can tell
Alone and confused
though you say your there
I push you all away
Although in reality I need you
I need for you to laugh with me
To pick me up
Only one person really knows me
Only he can see
He knows that I cry myself to sleep
He know that my blood, it weeps
You're trying to build me up
Yet you bring me down
Lower than ever before
You know I cut
Thats for sure
You're forever lecturing me
Saying it's OK
When it's not
Maybe someday it will be
But not today

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