Sleepless night of a failure

Thoughts race heart stops hard to breath. Can you blame their cold hearts or are you only to blame. Tired of trying and not getting anywhere. Already broken free. There is no grass here only blood and cold pain. Can you change, can you still live. Only a cold person can decide. So you decide better to end it now. Quick painless, but if it all ends to night, then tomorrow will be lost like a meaningless life…………