A cry for help

by oOXkonnXOo   Feb 16, 2005


Billions of thoughts
etched in red on the walls all around me
everywhere i turn
their meanings jumbled and lost in the confusion
whispers of thoughts
blend and bend into a constant persistant noise
empty words
twisting burning screaming
gnawing away at my life
these unspoken thoughts
torture my unprotected heart
and i let out a silent plea for escape
a cry of despair and for help
goes unheard

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Latest Comments

  • 19 years ago

    by UM

    I didn't reall like this one that much. Couple suggestions though:
    1)Use punctuation. Like in the line that says "twisting burning screaming", it should be "twisting, burning, screaming," That might be just me though. Things like that annoy me sometimes. Haha.
    2)I don't like this line either, it seems awkward. "a cry of despair and for help" Maybe make it something like, "a cry of despair, a cry for help" That seems to flow better.

    Just my thoughts though, take em or leave em! Keep writing.

  • 19 years ago

    by Marta

    wow, very well-written! that was so good and well, true at times, i really liked it, that was so good, keep your head up :) xxx

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