Nowhere to go

So many words i want to say
I wish i knew what they were
They are lost in my racing head
Exactly what they are I'm not sure

I stand there silent
I don't move a muscle i don't even scream
My eyes tear up but i hold it back
This life I'm living is too much like a dream

At home i stand in the shower
Cutting the words that were not said
I fall into the bathtub
Just wishing i was dead

I lay in the shower
Hot water hitting my face
I grab the blade for one more round
I feel like such a disgrace

Go ahead spit your hateful words twords me
Go on and talk about me behind my back
I'll stand here silently laughing at you
And one of these days I'm going to crack

One day i will slit my wrist
Let my blood flow
I'll close my eyes never again to open them
Even in death i have no where to go

* i don't really know i was really upset and i wrote whatever came to mind comment please it would help.