I'm Not Worth Your Pain

I said I wouldn't, but yes I cried
And in my heart
Deep inside
A little piece of me was torn apart
A little piece of me had died
Confused on who I'm supposed to be
I'm not that great
Don't hurt yourself over me
I'm the one you should hate
So let your feelings evaporate
Don't make a big deal of what never could be
The tears
The lies
The fears
The cries
All those things I released from you
I deserved what I got
But you got it too
I tried to love you
But I'm just too scared
No longer sure what I should do
You said you would jump in front of a train
I'm not sure if you would have dared
What if you had
A killer I would be
I don't want that, I always cared
Just not the way
You say I should
What am I supposed to say
I never could
I'm not the girl you think I am
I'm tired of pretending
Happiness is something
My presence rarely brings
So I am sorry that you feel
That I can help you heal
How can we be friends
If you just want to be closer
This is the end
I can't take it
These black clouds bring me constant rain
I'm putting our friendship
Behind a locked door
Maybe I deserve this pain
I probably do
But I refuse
To hurt myself anymore

~It's random, doesn't make much sense I guess. But my whole damn life doesn't make much sense right now so I figured it's actually rather appropriate. And the rhyming sucks, I know it, so don't bother tell me.