Mum you seemed scared of the future,
But I’m still so scared of the past,
Mum you always seem scared of fire,
But I don’t have that problem inside,
Mum you swear when you slip with a knife,
But when I do I smile,
Mum you really think I’m happy,
Even with your fist shaking by your side,
But I’ve seen the TV,
Hitting its not real?
So I just close my eyes, and let you do what you do,
Mum you don’t hug teddies,
I hug teddies a lot,
While sitting in the corner, crouched down, my knees bent,
I see you stare,
You look at me as if I’m deceased,
Mum you like to shout,
I only like to whisper,
You like to be angry,
And I’m always so blank,
Mother you never want to hold me,
When all I need is a hug,
My friends they see me smiling,
My life’s an utter joke,
My friends they see me laughing,
You know I read a book?
A friend of mine thinks I’m happy,
I hate to lie and act,
I’m sorry that I deceive your trust,
Mum why do I have no feeling?
Why is my life on script?
Mother I held my hand,
I faked it was your own,
A stepbrother you love,
A stepbrother I wish was gone,
Mother you know what he did?
You said it was a lie,
I don’t think anyone knows,
Just what happens at night,
I was laughing at a joke,
And rushed away to the toilet,
I sat myself in a cubical,
And my face seemed to sink,
Suddenly my cheeks sunk with weigh,
And my expression became so sad,
So I took out a blade,
My feelings so blank inside,
My intentions to make myself bleed,
I cut myself a few times,
After that I felt better,
I felt as if I could breath,
So I wondered out of the bathroom,
Gloves on, smiling face and relieved..
Mother you never wear gloves,
But you said one day you shall,
To hide the fingerprints around my neck,
Upon a knife, a rope…
