Very creative poem. You write it well, and I liked reading it. It was confusing at the end though, there was no build-up, it didn't seem connected with the rest of the poem, but maybe an unexpected ending was what you were going for. Nice work! :)

I agree with RainbowRachel. Although, I didn't find the ending confusing, just surprising, but good. Nicely written.

Uhh, the ending was fine, i wasnt confused at all .. it was done very nicely and yes they are both right it was very very creative and i enjoyed every line. ! keep it up .. ! Cant wait to read more, lol .. and also id love to know what u think of my poetry ! .. lol .. thanks again !
- Maybeth -

It's weird, and I thought the rhymes were a little forced... good job though.

Your poetry is just a mix of emotion which is good, but it is hard to read. I love the way you just say what you mean though, and I think that this poem is great.