Self Mutilation

All the prayers
I whispered
hoping God would hear...

I wanted my life to end..
But it just continued,
year after year...

There was nothing
special about me,
at least nothing I could see...

All I wanted,
was for my imprisoned soul,
to be at last, set free...

No one
in this embottled fiery hell called earth, could ever change my mind...

I starting cutting myself...
The teachers saw,
so did my family,
but they pretended to be blind...

With every passing day,
I lived,
I would make the cuts a little deeper,

But I knew in my heart and soul,
I was a dark girl,
a girl with no self worth,
a girl...
no one could keep her...

Days and days went by...

More and more I tried,
at my attempted suicide...

My friends
all thought I was crazy...
Alas, I was...

But then I met a boy...

The devil sent him to me, I figured...

And my heart became his play toy...

But soon,
his love for me faded...
Like everyone else, he left...

I was not ashamed... I did not care...

Why care about some boy, when my parents were never even there?

People, came in and out of my life, then, but they would always close the door to loving me, and leave for some unexplained reason...

I was a waste of a creation...

I was a ball of rage, a clown with frustration...

Life and I
just were not a mix..
We just were not a good
combination...

Finally,

The day came,
where I finished
my self mutilation...