Fantasy Final

I’m crying and I don’t know where these tears come from
I play a game and then I get off all mad at someone
I don’t even know their name yet I feel so sad
Why can’t I just leave but I stay and annoy them

I’m a nuisance to the world, to those so far away
Some I haven’t seen their face and I get upset at them
I expect so much from them, and all they say to me
“What do you want me to say?”

I don’t know what I’m looking for from you
I know what I want you to do
Want me all the time and always want me to talk
But I know that’s not what you want

Why do I get so attached to something fictional?
Just a character in a game that’s just playing along
Why am I the only character playing real life in a fictional world?
I get so depressed after a while when I feel neglected

Then I get upset and angry like they were aiming to hurt me
I start getting angry at them like it was their fault
Then I upset them and then they no longer want to hear me
I apologize for what I said but the words were already said

Sometimes I wish I could disappear into the abyss
Just leave you alone like I have never existed
The way I talk with you is not like me
I look how I say things and I feel embarrassed for myself

Perhaps you should ignore me, blist me if you must
What I’m turning into isn’t something I want to be
I do not mean to be a bother and yet writing this I’m being one now
“Poor girl clinging to something that makes her happy. How sad!”