Temptation Succeeds

Caught in a dream, glancing out the window,
I see what I want in my own imaginary.
My thoughts corrupt to form a dangerous woe,
And fly around me like an annoying fairy.

The voices around me fade through my ear,
As I begin to think of a great fear.
My body trembles in terror and excite.
It brings more than dismay and fright.

A ringing tone blares soundlessly to me,
Until I am disturbed from my dream.
My stomach rumbles out of hunger or anxiety.
Honestly, my denial does not care to seem.

To lunch everyone goes,
But for me only starvation knows.
A slight run and I head towards the bathroom.
I lock the door and try not to fume.

Steam tries to blur my reflection.
I try to hold my tears while they sting.
My eyes become flush along with my complexion.
Oh, how I desire to fly even on one wing!

But unfortunately…my desire begins to amend.
A longing not controllable pulls me in.
I stare hazily trying to forget my past habit as it teases.
But I remember the sweet pain it gave to please me.

The bathroom echoes my breathing then fades,
As I give in to the world of my desire.
Reaching inside my purse, I grasp the blade.
Pulling up my sleeve I still see scars of wire.

The temptation has won yet again.
I know this vicious tendency will not end.
But at the moment I do not care---
The blade slices my arm so easily while I stare.

The blood drizzles down in such a daring color.
Yes, the cut is most certainly deep.
But still I am going to make another,
While this sweet pain I drown in keep.

An hour passes by, I am drenched in blood of mine.
The time was lost as I tried to relieve the pain I find.
Using paper towels I wrap it around my arm.
With my sleeve I slowly cover my self-harm.

Quickly I run to class...I am late.
No one knows the dangerous life I lead.
Alone inside and it turns to my fate.
Again my temptation succeeds...

*This happened yesturday...*