Worn and Dirty

Knocking on the gates of heaven
I guess it is closed for me.
I’m not allowed in such a beautiful place,
Because my soul is worn and dirty.

I never thought I deserved such hate,
Now I can see where I was wrong.
I have never been good enough for them,
I have been here way too long.

I ended it with a few slices,
Seven right down my wrist.
As I fell to the floor I remembered,
I never gave my goodbye kiss.

I bet none of you saw this coming,
I was such a happy, easy kid!
It did not matter how I felt inside
As long as my pain was hid.

But it mattered how he broke my heart,
Even if he tried to put the pieces back.
I could forgive but never forget,
Because my soul was gray and black.

And it mattered how night after night,
I did the same routine
No one knew the cuts behind my sleeves
Because they could not be seen.

So many things that no one knew
And even if they found out
They would'nt have been here for me
They would have continued to scream and shout.

So now I am dead and wilting
As I search for a place to go
The only thing inside of me
Is hate within my soul.