Why do I do this?

I sit here and wonder.
Why do I do this?
I sit here and think,
why don't you want to love me?
I try to understand you,
and I really don't.
What did I ever do,
to deserve this?
I cry at night.
Because all I want is,
to have you in my life.
But I am not the one you want.
You never did want me.
All you want and ever wanted is the club,
and to smoke your next joint.
All I wanted to do is,
have you love me.
Now I see all my friends,
and how their fathers all love them.
And I sit there and think,
why do I do this?
Why do I sit here,
and become depressed
b/c you don't want to love me.
When I grow up,
you are going to need me,
and I will not be there for you.
I love you daddy,
and I always will.
But how come you
just couldn't have been there for me?

July 27, 2003