Flooding Tears

This might sound crazy
But I'd really like to know
How it feels to cry
And let everything go
Because everything I hold inside
It all remains the same
My problems pains and fears
On myself I blame
Even now the tears are flooding
Behind these tired eyes
Don't give me all your s***
I'm sick of all the lies
Dad it used to be because of you
You were the reason that I'd weep
But now I just feel all alone
And my tears to myself I keep
I know you helped me get like this
And you will never change
Now so much sorrow has built up
This life can't rearrange
But now I see it's all my fault
I'm just not good enough
And I shouldn't let you get me down
But I'm really not that tough
So instead of crying I will cut
And push everyone away
And I'll write it all on paper
These things I'll never say
I don't remember how to cry
The tears won't leave these eyes
But for every tear that I hold back
There's more of me that dies