Sweet Release

I hurt myself today
To see if I was still real
The glass draws an angry red line
Across my pale arm
The pain is so sweet
And I laugh as the blood flows
I smile with satisfaction
At the harmful deed I had done
And I knew at once
That they had won
I let them take over
Once too many times
They take over my brain
And make it theirs
And put me away in a box
I always fight the battle
But always lose the war