HiDn TeArZ

I liked what you tried to do -- but it could have been better -- but I think purposely misspelling some of the words with the letter "z" instead of "s" acknowledges your youth -- a lot of younger people use this speech when chatting -- so, it seems as if the poem is directed toward younger readers -- you want your poetry to speak to all ages and misspelling words, even though you did it purposely, will not allow you to do that! Poetry should rolloff of the tongue and misspelling words can tongue that readers and they get aggravated and stop reading -- you don't want that! You want to make it easy for them to read while simultaneously making your point and expressing get in a beautiful manner -- with some changes it could be an excellent award-winning poem! If you would care to know what I would do, e-mail me! Please don't be offended -- I just love poetry!

Very good, I liked how you got meaning across even though you used slang, most slang poems loose some of their emotions. But this is very good.

I like this one, its really pretty, but of course also sad:( good job keep up the good work!

Very good. short to the point. good

awesome poem, take care and thank you for the comment.