I called you
expecting an answer
hoping it was an avoidence
rather than a missed call
so that I can blame myself some more
and deny you ever loved me at all
In fact
I've been wishing on each star
that a knife might slip coincidently
or be a victim of a reckless car
then I could finally be in silence
it would be really nice if for a year or so
I could detach and become mindless
and be the one who never knew where to go
