Suicide

Suicide
Cold and dark as the evening twilight,
Condemned for death they extinguish my light,
The plague is here, no mercy it shows,
My pain is real yet nobody knows,

The darkness surrounds, piercing, expanding,
Fog grows nearer, closer, demanding,
Eternal warrior I wish to become,
So quickly diminished for lacking of sun,

I see no farther than four feet ahead,
Darkness around me wishing I was dead,
My “stone” would speak of but kindness and joy,
‘t had been a clever act which I did employ,

The cold contracts, gripping my soul,
Locked in darkness, I’ve paid my toll,
I try to escape the darkness within,
I try so hard to cleans all of my sins,

I feel the light come, freeing my mind,
The warmth within, I’d become so blind,
I’ve passed once again through darkness and night,
But this is no time for an end to my fight,

Daylight has passed, now darkness returns,
Oh for the light which I’ve learned to yearn,
I attack my pain, my fury alive,
My blades in my hands, the swinging of knives,

I note in the distance a warrior just found,
It lays so still upon muddy wet ground,
I embrace it so dearly, pressed to my chest,
The fight is now over, I’ve given my best,
The touch of its hand so warm and true,
My friends are none, all left but you,
It’s time to escape the darkness of me,
They attempted to look, but they did not see,

The anger within, the dwelling on pain,
My desire so strong to be free once again,
I grip her hand and hold her near,
To me this road is all too clear,

With but one explosion and a deafening sound,
I’m free from the dark and collapse to the ground,
With the help of my warrior and one loaded shell,
I am free from my darkness, I’m free from my hell.

- this poem was written about 15 years ago so sorry for its flaws.