I am sorry I was born
I am sorry into this world I came…
I can never do anything right
Always causing people pain.
From the very first moment
I opened my eyes
Until I was seven, all I would heard around
Me were negatives and sighs.
I have always tried to do things
The right way…
But some how they never
Seem to come out OK.
Mom and Dad I did not
Mean to cry so much
But, all I was asking for
Was your simple touch.
I understand you are both deaf
And that you could not take care of me
But why did not you do something…
No, instead you just let me be.
There was that one
Horrible day…
That effected my
Life is so many ways
Even though I was
Only a few months old
Because of that incident
I have trouble doing what I am told
Mom was out and Dad you
Were the on watching me.
I started crying because
I was so hungry.
You could not hear me
You only could see my pain
You did not know what to do
So my tears continued like rain.
The angrier you got
The more rage you had
What you did to me Daddy,
Was so sad
You picked me up and through my
Head agents the wall
Luckily I hit the bed to break
That nasty fall.
But, I still was rushed
To the hospital with a fractured skull
My world that I hoped to
Be so bright… went extremely dull.
Dad, you had to go to jail
For child abuse
What you did to me…
There was just no excuse.
Mom, then it was your
Turn to look after me
I hoped things would
Turn out better then what they did for daddy.
Unfortunately it did not
Things went wrong from the start
You neglected all my needs and
Never showed me love from your heart.
I had lost weight from birth
By the time you were arrested
You were not a good parent but the
Government tried to prove you were by you being tested.
Instead of going to jail you
Got visitation rights
But I went to a foster family
And I was fed food and slept at night.
I loved that home
They actually cared about me
They would hug and cuddle
That’s all I wanted, why couldn’t you see?
I would have loved it more
It if it came from you and dad
But I took it anyway because
That’s all I had.
I grew up in the home
With only a weekly visit from you
But when we were together
You never had anything fun to do.
You would just sit around
And I do not get why it took people so long to see
That for us to live together again
Was just not the best choice for me.
In the time a lot of terrible
Preventable things to place
I was sexually abused by a girl,
I’ll always remember her face.
I kept this inside of me
And did not tell anyone for the longest time
But now I realize what she did
And how bad of a crime
Things got worse and worse
As each passing day
I was slowly, unknowingly,
Throwing my life away.
I picked up habits of swear words
By the age of four.
I never listened and in time outs
I would pick the lock on my door.
Finally, the family I was living with
Realized it was not right
And I that needed to live somewhere else
To get a future fully bright!
I went to live with a family
I had know my whole child hood
Occasionally I would stay for a weekend,
They’d always help out and do what they could.
But this time the stay was
Permanent
It was not like one of those
Two-day tournaments.
I was happy to be “homeâ€
The adoption papers were signed
And I could not ask for a better
Mommy or Daddy of its kind.
I now have three sisters
Who all love me very much
Jessica, Mallory, and Stephanie
And at the time, a dog named Duch.
Living with this family has
Been the hardest years,
But, they give me security and
Take away all of my fears.
Life is still hard I am not going
To lie
Dealing with my past hurts
So bad some times I want to die
But I am so glad I am sticking it through
Because some day I am going to look back
And I never want to regret or
Have a feeling of something I did not do or lack.
