Dear Mike,
I'm willing to make a bet with you tonight, right now. I know that you'll hear the message I sent you and leave me forever. I told you I was going to kill myself. I'm so hurt and confused right now that I don't know whether I should just keep on acting like nothing is wrong and continue cutting myself or just kill myself right now to end all of this misery. I'm sitting on my bed with 2 options sitting in front of me. The first is my only friend, the knife that I have gone to so many times before and my cell phone because somewhere in my tormented mind I still think you just might call me and say you care and that you don't want me to do this. but thats never going to happened and I'm tired of tricking myself into believing this is true. I'm so tired of this feeling that is so deep down inside me that nothing can make it go away. So as I pick up the knife In look at it expecting to see my own twisted reflection but no, I see you face. Laughing as if nothing is wrong. This brings tears to my eyes and as they roll off my face and hit the blade I decide that this is it. I take the knife into my right hand and then my left. Slicing up and down from left to right until there is no more skin on either arm left to rip. I hit it, the thing that was hurting me for so long. I've finally made it go away. Blood is pouring out everywhere and I don't care about it. About anything. As I lean back and wait for my blood to run out my phone starts to ring. I reach forward to turn it off but I fall. The phone bounce open on the bed. I see its you on the phone and I start crying again. I hear your voice but I am too dizzy to understand you. As I'm going in and out of consciousness I realize your sobbing and trying to tell me you do care. You hung up, of course and I don't care. I take one good look around where I am. I hate it, I hate it all. I hate where I am, what I've become, what state I'm in. As I drift of in my bed of blood a smile emerges on my face. Now i hope you get a chance to read this because this is the last time you'll ever hear from me again because this will be the last time I will ever hurt myself over you.
Love Always,
Jules
*_*_*I wrote this just now. Its a suicide letter about me by me to this guy that I have some issues, that I've kept in the dark, with. Please vote and comment this is the most personal poem I've ever put on the website*_*_*
