by yo yo yo Mar 2, 2005
category :
Life, society /
other
When you left my life everything changed |
Hmm not one of my favorites, but I have some good constructive criticism. Your rhyme scheme is a little off, you have a nice vocabulary but I believe you either want to rhyme or not rhyme at all. Secondly your sentence struture is all over the place, either lenghten the lines or shorten the long ones. |