I'm sorry I loved You

I long to see your face
I long to hear your voice
I long to "accidently" bump into you
Yet when I see you I look away
Yet when I'm close enough to hear your voice I lose my senses
Yet when I'm near you I forget everything else
Then why do I say I love you when a part of me doesnt wanna see you when i feel happy for a change?
Is it because all I've got from you is pain?
Is it because all You've ever given me is hurt and tears?
Or is it because I really do love you instead of all the tears I've lost over you?
Now I really do wish I'd never fallen in love with you
I wish I'd never seen your face
I wish I'd never heard ur voice which forever makes me wanna fly
I wish I'd never looked into your eyes which are now full of hatred for me
I wish I'd never fallen in love with you
I'm Sorry
I'm sorry I ever loved you