I refused to cry

Something is always wrong.
I can never get it right
you've laughed in my face,
criticized me day and night.

but no, this time is different
no tears have stained my cheek
you tell me I'm getting tougher
thats not true, I'm just too weak

After your words have finally halted
Those aweful words filled with hate
you apologized over and over
Just stop! Your already too late!

Your cold words have stabbed me
sunken deep in my very soul
My light and happy spirit
now as dark as coal.

You have ruined me
causing hate, and causing all of this
you've turned me against myself
you put these scars on my wrists.

This is the only way to escape
Just to carve my skin
No matter how I fight it
this is a battle I will never win.

38,39,40 I cut almost everyday
deeper and deeper
I'm cutting the pain away

But the words, they never leave
They echo endlessly inside.
I wouldn't give you that satisfaction
I never ever cried.

My safety pen is broken
But my knife is far from dull
So I skim it across my arm
this move will end it all

Tell my mom to leave him
all he ever did was lie
Tell him the war isn't over.. he didn't win.
I refused, I never cried....

this poem is about my life.. how much I hate my stepfather for emotionally abusing me since I was really young.