Rape Me

It wasn't rape...

The height of my self worth,
Is slowly climating down.
As always, when I needed help,
No one could be found.

He begged for just one kiss,
So I finally gave in.
I wish I would have known,
My voice could never win.

The kissing wasn't so bad,
But then he pinned me down.
I told him to back off,
But he continued to feel around.

I felt so afraid; I froze,
I let him kiss and look at me.
The words lay there on my tongue,
My mind pleading insanity.

He shot off little compliments,
Never have I felt so afraid.
I should have told him to stop again,
But the pleas were never made.

Suddenly he unbuckled his belt,
I did nothing and I felt low.
Inside my heart was screaming,
And once more I told him to go.

Finally he got up; kissing me,
With a proud look on his face.
As he slowly shut the door,
Guilt was left there in his place.

I was breathing so heavily,
I must've been holding my breath.
Each time I look at myself,
Disgust's embedded in my flesh.

I need to relieve the pain,
But the thoughts won't go away.
And every time I look at him,
Tears are all I'm able to say.

I know he didn't hurt me,
But what he did was mean.
That night he could have raped me,
And I wouldn't have done a thing.

Megan Schroeder 2005

and it could have been worse...

*The reason I didn't put this with rape stories, is because it wasn't actually rape. I would feel guilty if I put it there with the poems of actual rape stories. I'm just depressed. If only I would have said no just once more. It's my fault. I should have said something, anything.*