Sweetest Sin

I wake and see your smiling face each day
You know your smile resembles his in a way
I can look at my child and visualize
The love of my life’s face within his eyes

Though I love him to death and even more
It causes ruptures inside my heart
I cannot seem to separate the two
I am unable to differentiate them apart.
But my son is my everything, my heart, my soul
Life is nothing when it’s him that’s compared
I just wish he didn’t remind me so much of his father
The love and the life that together we once shared.
The mornings first ray of sun, doesn’t come close to my son
When I awake it can only ever be in name of him
Yet it is in vain of his most precious face
I am constantly reminded of my sweetest sin.

In the beating of his heart I can hear rhythm
Rhythm of life that brings me such meaning
But his eyes bring me back to a forgotten time of life
That lacked personal respect and was so demeaning.
As much as the sight of him can make me smile
At other times the vision can bring me to tears
Him growing up and turning out like his father
Is one of my deepest and most predominant fears
Even when his father’s life becomes the opposite
To the life our beautiful son should choose to live
His face will always resemble his fathers
My lack of capacity to move on and forgive

The love and dependence he provides me within
I wish with all my heart he wasn’t a daily memoir
Of the times I committed my sweetest sin.