Lord, Don't Leave Me!

I fell down to my knees
And I bent my head and prayed:
God, take this pain, please
I feel hurt, ashamed and betrayed

I feel as if I am slipping beyond control
Nothing I do seems to help me
And I can’t find you in my soul
So I cut myself selfishly

I tell myself it’s Satan trying
To draw me into despair
Will it’s worked, I am dying
In my mind I am almost not there

This blood you see, Lord
Is the proof I still live in some way
But God, Jesus I need to be assured
That this will ease someday

And not just for a brief hour
But for a long stretch of time
God, you have the grace and power
To make me better, if not fine

But you don’t seem to hear
Lord, I feel lost and so alone
Please come, please snuggle near
Oh, Lord … if I die, will you take me home?

I’ve I took this blade and gave in
Would you condemn me, send me to hell?
Because Lord it’s eternal rest, not sin?
If I come home to You, surely all will be well?

But now I’m thinking that if today
As I cry on bent knees, so desperately
You don’t answer when I pray
Maybe you’ve left me …

© Copyright Sharon Ardern 2005