Do this for you

I picked up that binder
the one that holds our whole past
each letter
each crease
each word
all of those moments just passed

today wasn't like the rest
in the air it sensed doom
coming home I smelled like a man
but not like the one's who's scent
lingers in my room

I walked through the door
hugged my mom tight
said all of my goodbyes
the sorrow in my voice
would bring all of the tears tonight

walked to my room
closed the door with sudden fears
took my last deep breath
whispering:
sorry my family I won't be with you through the years

I went to that binder
flipped to the page that said you died
took one more glance
stood there and cried

I set it on the table
left a note on my door
Saying I was sorry
I can't be here no more

Took my last sip
Of all you can't see through
Waking to find him at my side
Telling him:
Remember I did this for you.