Walking closer

Walking closer

the edge is tipping at my toes

but the look is terrifying

even to my own self

i am surprised

for i've only been wanting this more than my own breath.

catching your stare from the corner of my eye

i notice tears streaming down

but that still has yet to change my mind

turning away, i know that i am wrong

hurting everyone

and pushing away the help that is offered to me

sorry- has always been too late

for that one word would only bring me tension

the hugs will start to follow

they will only try to make me happy

but happiness is a fear of mine

it is something that i haven't felt for a while

being afraid of betrayal and abandonment

are the effects of happiness

i have been betrayed and abandoned for too long to live

survival has been tried and failed

i have erased that option out of my mind forever

so they cannot push me anymore

for i'm pushing myself

away from life

and away from you.

your screaming now,

falling onto your knees

as my feet slip

and my body falls

letting myself fly.

don't cry now

you always knew that this day would come

your ignorance and forgetfulness has taken it's place in my heart

now it is my turn to forget you

forget my own life.

the wind has caught me in it's trance

now it is time to stop fighting

my time to let go.

holding my breath and waiting for my heart to stop

but the cold hard ground has beat my plan...........

your looking down at me as you have done before.

your eyes glisten with tears.

i could hear the whimper in your voice...

but before i could make out your words....

my eyes roll back-

and my life has finally ended.

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