I Need To Fly Again

I've punched so many walls.
I've cut so many times.
I try to stay within myself,
But I always cross the lines.

My heart has been empty.
Far longer than anyone could see.
You all just began to notice,
You don’t realize, there is nothing new about this.

The tears that I have cried,
Could fill an ocean, maybe more.
But I just want you to realize,
It wasn't any better before.

I hid the pain behind a smile,
And some long sleeve shirts.
I never wanted you to know,
Just how much each day hurts.

I hid it so well,
You never could tell.
I never did appear sad to you.
That’s why you never had a clue.

I know you were mad, that I didn’t let you in,
But that’s the way it had to be, I had to keep it hidden.
It would just hurt too much to show you the pain that is there.
I don’t need another person trying to pretend they care.

You still don’t get how you didn’t know. Don't blame yourself, Like I said, I was good at not letting it show.
I’d pass you in the halls and smile.
Dieing, crying, and screaming inside, all the while.

You never saw the tears, I refused to let you.
You saw all the smiles, none of the frowns, not even a few.
Now that you know, now that it’s out.
Maybe you can help me to see what I’m without.

I want you to help me, I just could never let you know.
The help I needed, was less important than what you would think, if I let these scars show.
I’m bleeding with open wounds, inside and out.
I feel so lonely, I have so many shadows of doubt.

My wings are broken, and need repair.
I long to enjoy the sun and fresh air.
I want things back to the way they were before.
Back to when he hadn’t even walked through my door.

So help me heal my broken heart.
Put me back together, and don’t let me fall apart.
I need to fly again.
So please take away my life of sin.