Better Off Dead

I turn up the music as loud as I can
And scream into the receiver
Rhythmically following my fading heart
..."So much for being a believer"

Plug my ears and pretend to die
Sometimes I wonder how it feels
Everyone's screaming, everyone's yelling
Living thoughts are so surreal

Anger comes crawling, nip, bite-attach
I fade slowly in with the lyrics
Am I the only one who understands?
Is it only me here to hear it?

My conscience screams, coarse and fair
Scream, breathe, try, and fail
Words with definitions I live to hate
Inhale slowly, to quickly exhale

I hear the music's fade into next song
But I replay the track before
Shuffle, Repeat, Bass up, Bass down
Every option, every rhythm galore

Identify with hate, call out to love
Pull the covers tight and straight
The singers scream, whisper, choke
As their lungs collapse and deflate

Laying in bed, still, broken, and so cold
I turn my music off and go to bed
Thoughts still blaring, and blasting
I am better, so much better off... dead.