Crying Angel

The lord mustn’t love me
We both show no propriety
Yet I still bow down to him
And join the rest of society

But while everyone wears white
I’m the one in a mourning black
I want what he took from me
I want my life back

The angels don’t accept me
They seem to think I’m in the wrong place
They giggle and crowd around me
But I just need my own space

They all think that by my appearance
They can see all there is to me
But I now there is so much more
Than what their eyes can see

I go to my haven
The place where I can cry
When my world crumbles
I know I want to die

But I’ve already died
And this is where I’ve gone
My body is dead
But my heart pumps on

It pushes the blood to every end
Down to my finger tips
And when the night goes on
It’s always a lunar eclipse

And I’m under the shadow
I hold the weight of the entire world
I’m cast into the darkness
I’m only a young girl

I’m fourteen, still too young
Yet I cower in my heath
My blood pours over the land
A puddle I sink beneath

I drown in my very essence
The stench I live to breath
My muscles they tend to cringe
My words somehow seething

I scream at god
As he looks down
For not seeing me
For not noticing me drown

I hate him for what he’s done
For creating such thing as opinion
That devastates everyone misunderstood
Ranging from God’s angels to Satan’s minions

But for everyone
Stuck in-between
Don’t tell me that I’m too young
To know the things you’ve seen

I want to be accepted
But there’s no where I can go
I get so sick and tired of telling myself
To just go with flow

God, you’ve made everything so wrong
For us, your children, the lonely ones
Do you choose not to see
Those little boys and girls clinging to guns?

Well I see it,
Because that was why I came
Ever since that creation
Life just isn’t the same

People now think of life
As a privilege they can turn down
Guns are not the only one weapon
That can turn someone around

But, as much as I know it may sound
I killed myself from my own mere grief
It wasn’t at all like that
A long story brief

My mom killed herself
No one really knew why
No one that is
But me, myself, and I

She killed herself
From a common disrepute
It plagues our men today
From the blind, deaf, and mute

It’s a thing we call depression
It’s a sad thing if you don’t know
It doesn’t leave when you want it too
It never will go

My mom killed herself
She set an example with a noose
She showed me how to do it right
To not allow the rope to loose

And I watched her die
From the corner of my room
I watched my own blood mother die
I watched her meet her doom

It killed me right then and there
I died from all of the tears I cried
My soul and my body parted
It was then that I realized I could no longer hide

This is where my soul is
If anyone just happened to be prying
If you look behind those bushes
I’ll deny you saw me crying