1-800-suicide

"You know what I need?
A breakdown.
To just finally get a break.
I need something that'll just
nudge me off the edge already
so that people scoop me up and protect me
like you press a flower
in the pages of a dictionary
between odontology and oldfangled
to keep it safe and guarded forever.
What I need is something
that'll make me snap,
because I'm sick of tottering here,
sitting on the fence,
not knowing which way to go.
I'm worse than fxcking John Kerry."

"I’m sure there’s something
available on E-Bay that could
help you out with that,
or mail-order or – or something.
Come to think of it,
there’s a 1-800 number you could try
but you’ll have to allow six to eight weeks for shipping."

"Six to eight weeks?
Sh!t. I don’t think I can wait that long."