I dont know

My head is full of tempting thoughts
And I can’t explain
I don’t know how I got this way
I don’t know how to change
You tell me if I love you I would not take my own life
But each day that I go on im longing for my knife
So if I die to day will you still love me?
Or will your love for me turn in to hate
That soon will turn into nothing
I need for you to remember how I tried to win this battle
And I need for you understand that I held on as long as I can.