Pretend

When I look up at the stars at night...
I see your face so bright
I feel my eyes wet
I wipe the tears away
I remember the promise I made to everyone
I remember the promises I made to myself
I remember telling everyone I'm fine...
I remember telling myself I'm over you
I remember clutching my stomach when I saw you...
I remember looking away with disgust when everyone looked at me
I have pretended long enough
Yet I feel like I make it obvious
I feel like I'm trying to prove I'm over you when I'm not
I force myself to look away when I find myself looking at you sadly with tear filled eyes...
Yet I look back to find my stomach churning and my body trembling
I feel myself sweat even in the rain when you're around
I feel myself burning even in the snow if you're around
Why do i still look at you and tremble If I really am over you?
Why today I wanted to stop you from leaving when you boarded the bus?
Why today I looked at you so pleadingly as if begging you to come back?
Why do I feel all this If I really am over you?
Yet I will believe I Am over you till the whole world believes it
Then I can still like you without feeling guilty