Mom was a single parent, by the time I was nine years old.
"The love between us faded," or so that's the story I was told.
Lights used to get turned off cause the bills weren't getting paid.
Ice tea with peanut butter sandwiches is all we ever made.
Dad was sneaking us money so we could have a meal or two.
Mom knew, she was stealing it but he had no clue.
My big brother now the man of the house.
Trying to make up for our missing spouse.
Mom living on cloud nine, staying out late.
Alex still working hard trying to make sure we had a hot plate.
School calling complaining, saying I'm not paying attention.
Say that when they ask me "What's wrong?" they feel my tension.
Worried cause my home life I never mention.
Still young at heart though, I remember us pillow fighting.
when times got rough I remember staying up, crying, writing.
Started growing up though, finished a chapter, started a new page.
"She's just traumatized, she'll be fine its just a stage."
I was hurt and neglected by my mother my whole life.
Never taught right from wrong, nor how to be a wife.
"In the Event of My Demise" became my new motto for living life alone.
Ignorantly, I thought I'd always have gods grace to postpone.
I thank god now, cause I live life with much pride.
Cause there was many times that I contemplated suicide.
But would my envy and greed, still succeed in leading to my downfall.
Or would I see the bright and everlasting light to follow god's call?
