Hiding away

Hiding away from the truth
Pretending it isn't real
Amplified agony all the time
Saying I do not feel

Sadness coursing through my veins
Overwhelming my brain
So my life is run by drugs
Cutting and by pain

Stopped the smoking it was hard
Stopped smoking my weed
Though the cravings are still there
I say I do not need

Replace my weed with food and drink
Drowning in my life
Snorting is another thing
A part of my broken life

Pain wells up when I see her
Her face stays in my mind
She is an angel in my life
But to my love she is blind

When I think about my gran
I love her with all my heart
I know that without her in our lives
My family will fall apart

Everyday when she still lives
Is a miracle to me
Everytime I hear her laugh
I know she still loves me

When I think about his death
Which I have put behind
Locked into a small box in my brain
But the sadness I can always find

He has gone away for ever
It makes me so sad
Knowing he'll never laugh with me
Makes me really mad

Whenever the bullies they come back
Screaming all new taunts
I cry about it every night
And in my dreams they haunt

They have beaten me at last
I am truly breaking
Carrying the weight of the world
My back is really aching

When those girls they whisper there
That silly rumour they spread
Thoughts of anger racing through me
Wishing they were dead

They all turn the world against me
Kick me when I'm down
I try to fight but lose so easily
My face a constant frown

When I eat I get away
For just a little while
From my life there is escape
I even slightly smile

Stuffing food down in my body
Then there comes the guilt
Making me feel lower than low
Makes me feel like filth

I have no self confidence
I hate looking in mirrors
Wanting to die all through the day
My thoughts are never clearer