Yet another failure

Finish the program?
no! of course not!!
thats too much for me
thats asking a lot

thats not the way things work for me
there's not gonna be an end
I can't make it that far through
I'm never going to mend

I'm never going to feel content
these eyes will always cry
I'll never feel that sense of peace
I'll always want to die

forever and always I'll wait
for something that's not there
for something that'll never come
it all seems so unfair

all I want's a reason
a purpose for all this pain
something that makes it all worthwhile
like the sunshine after the rain

but I don't think anything's there
I don't believe it'll ever come
so I'm left without a hope
a pile of pills and a micky of rhum