Giving In, At Last

by JustAFoolInLove   Mar 11, 2005


The blade so small
Begins to stall
Inside my flesh
And starts to burn
So then I earn
The strength to drag it deeper

Now I can tell
That there’s a smell
About the room of blood
So deep and strong
And all along
This filth has flowed inside me

I spill this cream
I’m in a dream
Of crimson waves at bay
That crash real slow
To the ground below
Just begging me to join them

My ears hear thunder
That brings me under
A mighty spell cast down
That hides my face
And shows no trace
Of letting me go free

No one can know
The things that grow
In the vast depths of me
So I pretend
That I depend
On cutting for sheer amusement

This secret must be
Kept inside of me
To calm my troubled soul
Ere it turns
To making burns
To ruin the blade which guides me

You see, I must
Or my head will bust
And leave me lying here
Upon the floor
So near the door
To forever and eternity

The crimson stream
Lets loose a beam
Of light made up of shadows
That lights the torch
That soon will scorch
My endless misery

I cut not for joy
For I’m a boy
Who never will he happy
‘Till I cleanse my vein
Of all the pain
That slices things inside me

I search all day
For another way
To release my grief and sorrow
I’m so behind
I’ll never find
A way to catch up in life

Time flies so fast
It’s soon the past
The one that I regret
Being in
While filled with sin
I just can’t get to leave me

So still I stand
While down my hand
Pours forgiveness, red
My face has a frown
Inside which I drown
While sorting out my debt

Soon I must pay
Or else I lay
Six feet beneath your shoes
Oh, what a shame
That you’re to blame
For all these things I feel

Alone, now, I must
Make my actions just
By proving that they help me
But the truth lies inside
That my words have lied
For cutting holds no benefits

I realize to late
Now this is my fate
To wallow in guilt forever
I feel so alone
In this desolate zone
I live here without a companion

I can’t bear this sight
I’m thinking I might
Just give into the screaming
From inside my head
Man, I feel like I’m dead
Maybe that’s why I’ve stopped breathing

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 18 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    SUCH MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh the memories.
    it's becoming more and more painfully clear to me that it was on the 12th of March, 2005 that we FIRST met. And itw as this poem, this first comment to this poem that led me to you.
    And gosh dangit.
    I wouldn't change a thing.

    I

  • 19 years ago

    by ~VaMpIrE KiSsEs~

    Hey.. This is such a great poem. You are a really good writer. I hope you could maybe read some of my poem. I think you could relate to them. You are doing something I can't do. You are going without cutting yourself. I wish I could do that. So many times I've tried. Well anywayz, great poem!

    Love alwayz
    Mya

  • 19 years ago

    by Carlee Ann

    You know, Zac, I am so incredibly proud of you. I don't think you have any idea... Only my friends helped me to stop and I have been clean for, geez, four years! I love this poem... it rox my sox! Keep on keepin' on... I know you can do it. I'm always here for you! You don't have to go with the pain. You know that phrase, "No Pain No Gain"? Shoot it. No pain is your gain. I love you so much, and I am so proud of you!
    *Bubbles*

  • 19 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    don't give in, don't give in, don't give in. If you give in, I give in. But I doubt we'll meet in hell.

  • 19 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    lol, you're welcome. aww, that made me feel good too lol. I feel special to now, lol. lmao!! wow zac, you're good. I don't think I need to go to a shrink anymore!!!!!! I'm cured, thank god.

    I read your comment and it nearly brought tears to my eyes. I can tell by your comment that you're so thankful for everything. That's very admirable!!!!!! You're my idol, lol, keep going Zac!!

    luv ya bye

    ~Sierra

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