You don't know me

You don't know me, you don't know anything about me, my life, or my friends.
you think you know me so well, i see it on your face when you yell.
you think you know all about what i go through just because i told you about her.
but you have no idea how close i am to being like her. yes like her.
she has control over her pain, and she has an outlet. i want that so bad.
but you don't know that because you don't know me.
no one really does. I'm all alone in the world, my life is run by lies.
i have to tell them every single day, just to keep the hidden inside.
you don't feel that pain. it's inside me every day. slowly eating me away.
it's killing me and i can't stop it. the only way is to end it all.
but you don't know any of this because you have never stopped to look.
if you had, you might have seen. what's been eating away at me.
the only way to make it stop is to stop it myself. to end the pain.
you don't know about him and you don't know how much i lost.
or how much I've been through. no one really does.
maybe you're scared, maybe you truly don't care. you should have noticed.
but whatever it is, it doesn't matter. i don't want you to care.
i don't want any of you to care. all I'll do is cause you pain.
that's the last thing i want. to cause more pain than i already have.
there is nothing you can do. nothing i can do to undo what has been done.
so now my only choice is to end it all. before it gets bigger.
before it spreads to those i love. it's already starting.
but you don't know any of this because you don't know me. don't pretend.
you knew me once, but not anymore.