Envy

You're all at once humid and refreshing

But cold in winter
Engulfing, smothering in June
Forever contradicting my security
Confusing what Ive only recently come to sort out
And endlessly tormenting my juvenile self-loathing
Just stop
That taunting abyss in my chest is calling me
To be yet again sucked into you
Though once Im in the mellow sweetness
Crawling, scratching, clawing to escape it
I know you won't let me stay afloat
I'm stuck in your bittersweet purple haze
And the whole time this is happening

You know I want it