How could I

He was my first kiss my first love my first everything.
I had never loved before him.

I gave him my heart and soul and anything else he asked for.
I always bent over backwords to try to keep him happy

I told him i love him after our 1 month of dating and after 2 we werent relating

He had moved away and everynight id pray dont let him find another lover because it would break my heart.

Things were starting to get serious but my sister had gotten curious about what had ben going on i lost my first love from caring what others thought.

Now i know ive lost my best friend now instead of saying i lost mah guy now im saying "how could I"?