You told me that you loved me
And that you always cared
Then how come when I needed you
You were never there
Now you want me to respect you
For who you claim to be
You call yourself my mother
But really…. Should you be?
I just wished you took a second
To look back into my life
I bet you wont believe what happened
While you were flying high
Yes mom, I understand
The struggles you been through
Trying to build a perfect future
For your two children and you
When I was across that ocean
I didn’t care if you exist
But I hated to know you were living
And that I needed you beside me
I hated the thought about my brothers
And all the love that they received
Yes I know, I was just jealous
But I had a right to be
The only one I had besides me
Was my grandma
At all times
She tried to give me everything
But I just wasn’t satisfied
Mom how did you expect me to do without you
I was alone in this world
Don’t argue about it cause its true
I had no one to console me
When I broke down into tears
No one to tell me don’t worry
Cause ill always be there
No one know whey I cried myself to sleep every night
They thought I was young
And everything will be alright
Do you know how it feels to walk around with this pain
I wont tell you what happened
Because I feel ashamed
Ashamed to belong in a world that’s so cruel
Ashamed to not have a mother for rules
Ashamed to be your daughter every single day
You know them smiles I give
Its because I m ashamed of what you say
You make me feel uncomfortable
Tell me I was a mistake
That you never wanted to have me
As your daughter anyway
Sometimes I take a second
To think back about my past
How many times I tried to kill myself
Because I knew this pain would last
I still remember when I came here
I thought I found what I was missing
Everyone talked about how good you were
And I just sat there listening
Hoping every word they said would be true
I got my hopes up about a mother
But I don’t think it was you
You treated me different
From the rest of my brothers
I didn’t understand why now
That we were finally together
Damn ma, why do you try to hurt me telling me these things
How you had a happy family
And I messed up everything
Sometimes I wonder if these things are true
I now I hate my life
But not as much as you
You see the way I act towards you every day
That’s just my response to all the pain you put my way
Don’t get fooled by my laughs and what seems to be a smile
Remember a lot of things can be deceiving
And so can my style
I try hard to act tough
And as if I don’t really care
But I still pay close attention
You just don’t notice that I m there
One day you’ll realize
How much you needed me
When I m gone ill leave you thinking
Of everything you’ve done to me
Its all good I m still alive
And God knows the reasons why
Maybe I was born for something
And that’s to make you realize
That you cant keep on hurting people
The way you always do
And that when you really care for someone
You have to show them too
Maybe you should take an extra minute
For a smile, a hug, or a kiss
You never know what might happen
You might just grant my one last wish
Deep inside my heart I know that I don’t really hate you
I know I don’t show you any love
But Its because of the things you do
You don’t deserve to be my mother
And to me you never were
While I try to forget about the pain
I know you’ll probably be hurt
