Story a broken soul

Put yourself in these shoes:
start your life out being born halfway across the country and not having anyone to be there for that big moment that you come into this world not that you would notice but then being moved back and forth across the country for the first eighteen months of your life and when you finally get that first consios thought you remember it is a fight between your father and mother over weather or not she should have had an abortion not that you would understand it and then for the first six years of your life try getting misdiagnosed with every mental disorder in the book, ridiculed because of the fact that you take medication not that you would care, then at that tender age where the father figure in your life is supposed to shape the man you are supposed to be, he leaves, not that you blame him he leaves for his new woman, leaves you with a mother who can bareley support herself much less you, then she meets someone, she is happy, so are you and you think everything is going to get better, not that you mind, then she finds out that she is cheating on her and the lie of your life is exposed once more, not that it matters, then about ten she finds someone new, you try to be nice but men can not be trusted, he hates you and shows it only when she is not around, then you are forced to move and leave your family, friends and your life behind, not that your complaining, then think about this... fights for three years, both between them(and you are the cause) and between you and other people, not that you cant handle yourself, and finally you start doing good in school and you start to get happy, but then comes trouble, not that its bad, you find someone, someone who makes you feel good about you, someone who you knew you loved the moment you laid eyes on her, and she loves you back, not that that is bad, then your world is ripped away again, she breaks your heart and you are drawn to the razor, not that it hurts, you hurt too much inside to feel it, you feel that the only person that is good in the world was a lie, a farce, not that that is wrong, and you are driven to the urge to kill yourself, because of one person, then imagine you see that your past all of that beautiful crap has hurt her you caused her to cut and drove her to the break up, you realize that inorder for her to be happy you have to let go, not that that is easy, and you do but everyday you live you have this thing inside of you this sorrow eating away at your soul tearing you to pieces... imagine you have to take pills to be happy... a false happiness a mask worn to please others, not that they care.. you go on lying to yourself day after day after day until you cant take it anymore, you try to o.d. and you fail, get locked in a mental ward, because of one person...yourself...

hey im not trying to complain about my life i just want people to understand where im coming from before they judge me.. i would really appreciate it if you could give me some feed back and tell me what you felt.. i dont care about rating... and sorry it was so long