I want you to die,
I don't want you here.
You've caused all my anger,
You've strengthened my fear.
My world is crashing,
My heart it is lashing.
Looking for the reasons
I have to live this life.
I want to go away
And be far away from you.
You always throw me hateful looks
Why do this you put me through.
You yelled at me and made me cry
I found my blades and let out a sigh.
I cut so deep and my pain disappeared.
Afterwords I felt guilty, now my heart is filled with fear.
I'm scared someone will see these scars.
They need not see my pain
or the anguish I go through,
each and every single day.
I lost my faith in you many years ago.
Your two-faced lies my heart couldn't hold.
You act like you care when I know you really don't
I wanted so bad to leave this place and now I know I wont.
You're the one who wronged me,
You're the one who deserves to leave.
Here I can't be happy,
I'm almost ready to flee.
I have friends that would take me in,
for I know they truly care.
They love me for who I am,
This thought you cant seem to bare.
You can't accept that I'm different.
All you see is black cloth and rings,
You've heard me say I want tattoos,
I don't care if people look, my individuality I'm gonna explore.
There's also one more secret I've kept locked away from you.
All it is is just one thing that I will never say.
It's something I cannot control, my sexuality I did not choose.
Just six small words I need to say, "Hey mom and dad I'm gay."
It's one thing I cant tell you,
you just wouldn't understand.
You'd give me some speech about changing my life,
you wouldn't understand I can't.
I am fifteen years old right now, only 2 1/2 more I have to wait.
It's like I'm standing on a pathway looking at a golden gate.
Behind the gate there is the world where I can make my own decisions.
I know what I want to do with my life, I can see my fulfilled visions.
My heart it smiles with happiness
when I dream of better days.
I know the day I leave this place
I will have things to say.
Yes, I wanted you die,
I didn't want you here.
You were the one that caused my anger.
You're the one that strengthened my fear.
You were the one that sent my world crashing
and out to you my heart had been lashing.
I was always looking for reasons
why I had to live that life.
Now I'm going to go away
and be far away from you.
Then there'll be no more hateful looks,
and this I wont have to go through.
Never again will you yell at me, and you'll never make me cry.
Never again will I need my blades to let out that sigh.
I'll never need to cut so deep to make my pain disappear.
Never again will I feel guilty, and never again will I feel fear.
